Owl Stone Records Artists
a full-throttle metal band powered by relentless double-bass drumming, razor-sharp riffs, and guitar solos that melt glaciers. Their sound hits like a blizzard with a vendetta, blending icy atmospheres with blistering speed and technical precision. Known for songs that go from sub-zero whispers to volcanic breakdowns, Defrost Popsicles proves that even frozen treats can shred harder than anyone expects.
A band permanently stuck in the “coming soon” stage, Soon To Be drops albums before they even finish writing them. They almost released one last year, but the entire band got arrested after mistaking a police horse for their Uber, and they nearly launched a double album in 2023 before getting trapped on a cruise ship they thought was a floating recording studio. Their EP was delayed when the drummer joined a pyramid scheme, the bassist changed his name mid-contract and vanished, and the lead singer refused to release anything until “the moon gives a sign.” Still, their next album is definitely coming soon… probably.
Sick Sacks is pure grimy garage noise with crunchy distortion, chaotic energy, and hygiene levels that violate several local ordinances. Their whole vibe is “losing a fight with your own backpack,” and somehow sounding proud of it. They’ve been banned from three venues for “excessive stickiness,” their merch table once caught fire from a faulty extension cord they found behind a dumpster, and their bassist refuses to play unless someone brings him a gas station burrito before every show. Critics describe their music as “confusing but aggressive,” which the band insists is a compliment.
Night Reapers deliver darkwave synth rock with cinematic vibes, haunted energy, and a surprisingly friendly fan club that may or may not hold séances before shows. Their music sounds like a ghost learned how to operate a synthesizer during a thunderstorm, and they lean into it. They once tried to film a dramatic music video in an abandoned mall but accidentally summoned mall security instead of spirits, and their fog machine has been banned from two counties for “creating weather patterns indoors.” Despite their ominous aesthetic, fans insist they’re the nicest group of goths you’ll ever meet, even if they only smile during eclipses.
Ruthless Carolers is the most intense holiday-only band ever signed to Owl Stone Records, specializing in killer Christmas songs that sound like Santa grew a beard made of barbed wire. Their music blends metal, punk, and unhinged festive cheer, delivering jingle bells that hit like sledgehammers and harmonies sharp enough to cut wrapping paper. They once got banned from a mall for performing a breakdown-heavy version of “Silent Night,” their guitarist insists on wearing a tactical Christmas sweater year-round, and their lead singer screams every lyric like he’s avenging a stolen stocking. Fans say their concerts feel like a snowball fight in a war zone, loud, chaotic, and somehow still full of holiday spirit.
Teddy Bear Suicide delivers hyper-emotional punk-emo chaos wrapped in aggressively soft branding, serving up sad riffs for plush hearts everywhere. Their songs sound like a breakup letter written in crayon, and their live shows often end with at least one stuffed animal being launched into the crowd for “emotional support.” They once canceled a tour because their mascot bear went missing, later discovered living its best life in a Build-A-Bear workshop. Their drummer cries during every sound check, the guitarist insists all amps be covered in faux fur, and their fanbase is the only crowd known to mosh while gently apologizing to each other.